Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Day with darling. 31.12.08

Went out with Vic today. Another long waited date.
Vic wore a black and gray t-shirt which really looked good on him. Very good. Made him looked taller.
We watched Australia. Really a stunning movie, Hugh Jackman is really good looking and hot. NIcole Kidman is a really pretty lady but not as good Cate Blanchet.
After movie, Vic and I decided to go for Mcdonalds take away. I had a Mcchicken and he had a double cheese burger. We then went on the bus to Danga Bay.
Danga Bay was quiet. It was sunny for the first five minutes. And then rain drops started falling on my head. But it didn't bother me at all. I was having a great time with Vic. Just looking at him smile makes me happy. He is always so postive and encouraging. Both of us weren worried bout next year. The pressure. But all we have to do is pray extra hard and have faith for next year. Like what Pastor Rajan said.. Next year is a year of courage, challenge and change. The 3c's thats what he said. And I believe both of us can do well next year with God's blessing.
And Vic's mum wished me happy birthday, and I gave her my wishes too. She actually replied my message! I don't know why, but I like Vic's mum compare to so many mum's I met. ( Of course I love my mum more!) She is such a nice and soft lady, but strong in the inside too. Thats what I think she is. She is so nice!!!! I can't get over the fact! Haha...


Okay, my birthday. I did nothing actually. But I have to thank those people who gave me wishes. Vic was first, then Jia wen, Tracey( thanks sis!!! I love ya!! Mwah!), alexandra, mel, yivonn...etc. But sze nee forgot my birhtday and actually wished me today. = = But thankz anyway.

I gotta get going to watchnight service right now... Happy new year people!!!!
Enjoy new year's eve! =)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

I am tired of this....

I dont understand why...
Each time I put down the phone I just feel like crying...
I tried hard and hard to tell myself its okay....
Why do I have to sound so hypo all the time,
and you just sound all so calm...
I am tired of this...
SO SO SO FREAKIN TIRED!
Why do I have to be so hypo all the time...
I just feel all weird at times...
I hate this feeling..
I hate it so bad...
I am tired really....
Tired!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Everything is back to where it belong.

Its been a long time since I updated my blog. I've been busy and that is an excuse. Actually there isn't anything to write. I just came back from my school camp. The Junior one orientation camp. It is indeed fun and enjoying. I got to see Vic for three days in a row, and he lost his cell during the camp. It made me really depressed. SO depressed. Part of it is because I can't contact him, I can't hear from him. I miss him so much. I am trying to use my brain to control myself instead of using my emotions. It is killing me, it really is. And I am telling myself to take this as a training for the future when we are far apart. I miss him so very much. Like a baby missing their blanket.

Christmas is like 4 days away. I adore this holiday season than any other. It brings back the family together where there is enough warmth, security. And most of all, Christmas is all about Jesus, celebrating his birth. Did some Christmas shopping. Getting gifts for people. Wrapping them nicely in beautiful gift wrappers. It is indeed a nice season. A season of sharing, giving and most of all, peace.

Its time for me to go back to school. Back to the Chinese environment. Just one more year and I could finally spread my wings and fly to where I like and where I wanna be. But in the last year its time to do my best. Get really good results and be a really good leader. The welcome party in my society is on the 24th of January, and I have to do preparations. I pray I'll do well. I never wanna disappoint anyone, at all.

Lastly, still... I miss Vic a lot. He has been occupying my brain since I said goodbye to him. I miss his smile, his voice, his laughter and most of all his kiss. I miss him so much. There isn't any word that could express how I feel about Vic and how much I miss him. I love him really much. I adore him. I love you Vic.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Lost to time once again.

My heart raced, as I travelled through the crowd, with a blue paper bag in my hand. As many thoughts ran through my head, searching for the most suitable way to give him a surprise from his back. But within a short time, there I was, standing in the chilly, less than 5 souls bookstore. The cold wind rushed through my arms, and gave me a slight shiver. I stood there, searching for one of the 5 souls.

There he is, standing there, with a book in his hand. He wore a white t-shirt and a brown Bermuda shorts. As usual, he was tall, lightly toned. Without letting time run away from my hands, I walked at a fast pace, as the cold wind was flirting with my plain yellow dress like blouse in the air. I looked at him, and smiled. As our eyes meet, he gave a beautiful and bright smile, which lightened up the dark room of my heart. He held my hand which brought so much warmth into my heart, and there I was tagged along and out of the chilly bookstore. As we walked on the concrete floors of the mall, all I could hear was my flats slamming against the floor, with a clicking sound. We talked, and looked at each other. My heart was overwhelmed with joy, as I could finally look at him in the face and talk to him. The feeling without seeing him for days and weeks was truly intense and agonizing. And now I could finally satisfy this emotions of mine.

We bought a ticket, and went straight to the food court. This place was bright, as there was a big large glass window which allowed the sun to pierce through and give light to the room. We sat by the window, I could feel the heat of the sunlight on my skin. We enjoyed the small boat like bowl of Lasagna. As time was ticking by, it was time for us to head in the movie theatre. We went up the stairs, the tearing sound which came from the ticket was loud. We sat in the red and spacious seat. The film rolls was rolling, the sound from the speaker pierced through the delicate ears drums of mine.

The movie was rolling, as Frank Martin shows off his moves in the movie, smashing the delicate heads of his rivals. However, Frank Martin wasn't that attractive enough to catch my attention, my attention was on the guy beside me. He streched his hands towards mine, giving me enough warmth. As our eyes meet each other once again, I was lost in his eyes, he moved his face close to mine, and touched my soft lips, the heat and sweetness burst into my mouth. It stayed for a long time. I lied on his chest, he hugged me securely, as we watched Frank Martin accomplishing his mission. His scent was euphoric. Time passed us by without us knowing.

After movie, we headed to Coffee Bean. The lighting of the room was dimmed. The smell of coffee went through my nostrills, giving an aromatic scent, the sound of chattering gave noise to the room. We ordered a cup of ice blended mocha. The drink was in a beautiful colour. The colour of the mocha was dark brownish, and the colour of the whipped cream brought the coffee a blend of white. We sat outside. The sun was bright, hot, and beautiful. The weather was in an irony condition, which made us loved it and hate it at the same time. The bustling sounds of the vehicles wasn't loud enough to cover our voices. The smell of urban air was everywhere. I sipped a small amount of coffee. It brought my coffee addiction alive once again.

I told my past, my jealousy. How I battled through jealousy and not letting it take over me. He told me how he fell in love with me. How it all happened. It felt like the moment of truth to me. It satisfied my curiousity. His words was sweet, heart warming. We looked into each other's eyes as we talked. Both of us was caught in each other's eyes, each other's thoughts. It was hard for us to turned away. It felt like it was an important time for us. We hoped in our hearts that this conversation didn't end. But, too bad, we lost to the time. It passed us by so fast, faster than lightning. It was so impossible to grasp time. Only fools would think they had a chance to win time. It was time for goodbye. We left the place, I walked him to the entrance. Gave a kiss on his cheek. And there, he was gone in the midst of crowds.

I walked through the bustling crowd, music from loud speakers wasn't enough to wake me up from what had happened just now. I was trapped in my thoughts. Lost in it. I played the tape back again and again. Trying to put myself back in the dream I just had. But I failed. I tried once again. Failed again. The feeling of missing him just came back once again. I started missing him once again.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

My feelings are sure.


Today finally arrived. I finally got to meet Vic. I think I waited for almost a month for this day to arrived. It was insanely long. But finally I have to say, we met each other. We finally did.

He was there, standing in front of me, I couldn't believe my eyes that he is in front of me. I got to look at him clearly, he always had this grin on his face, that won't fail to put a smile on my face. He was still, as usual, smiling, cheerful.

I went to school for a meeting for some Junior one camp thing. I am part of the committee. In the food preparation group. Which Vic was also in the same group with me, thank God! =) My group leader is awesome, hypo, happy, serious at times though. Group members. Funny. Cool. They can be really nice people I think. I was happy there, being the usual me, laughing, being hypo. I met Vic's best friend Hong Qi. He is really a funny guy. Fun guy I think. Love my group.

After the meeting, me and Vic decided to sit down, and hang out. We ordered a drink, sat there, and just kept talking and talking.As he streched his hand towards mine. I felt warmth once again. Its like electricity travelling through my veins. It went straight to my heart. My heart melted once again. Seeing him smile, seeing him talk, seeing him sip his drink, I just hoped that this could stay for hours. I just don't want to be awake from this so called dream of mine. As I looked and stared, my heart raced, I was really sure, me, Nicole, was really in love with this guy in front of me. I was irrecoverably in love with Victor. As he smiled, he lightened up the room. Everything was perfect. My love for him just kept deepens. He is perfect to me, because the good in him had just covered all the flaws from him. His heart and love was true.

This love that we both are having now, could be perfect if we think it is. Perfect in an imperfect way. There are hardships, but we both are determined to go through all of these with God's guidance and go through this together.

Right now, I could be really sure, I was really, truly in love with this guy, Victor. I adored him a lot. And it will still continue to breed inside my heart, till it take over half of my heart, which the other half has been occupied by my Lord and Saviour Jesus.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

I miss you.



I miss you.
I wanna yell out loud,
I wanna let the world know that I miss you.
You are the only one that could only make me feel this way.
I cant stop thinking bout yesterday,
it was short, but awesome.
As our hands twined together,
I felt your warmth,
I felt your love,
It is unforgettable.
All I thought about at that moment,
is not to let your hand go.
I held it tight,
treasuring every moment.
It was awesome, beautiful.
Seeing you smile,
I could feel your happiness,
It brightened up my spirit.
As you hugged me,
I felt your warmth,
I felt secure,
I felt like nothing could harm me when you hugged me.
As our lips touched,
I felt warmth in my heart,
I felt nothing in this world could make me feel this way,
I felt I needed nothing else in this world.
When I am in pain,
You are my remedy,
as you rubbed your hands against mine,
as you hug me,
Your scent is euphoric,
You healed me instantly,
The pain vanished.
When I am afraid,
You gave me courage,
You gave me support.
When I felt so small,
You made me feel that I can conquer this world,
Your encouragements never failed to lift me up.
When I am all alone in the dark,
You are my light,
You are always there.
You go through pain and loneliness with me.

Only you Vic, only you can make me feel this way.
I LOVE YOU.



Saturday, November 29, 2008

Now I love you even more.

I met Vic today again, finally. He is with his cousin Anthony from London. But I didn't care who was there, all I cared is about Vic. Nothing else. He looked good as usual. Seeing him smile just brightens up my day. I held his hand, the warmness I got from him... It was awesome, it feels like the first time we hold each others hands. Seeing him makes me wanna cuddle him more, makes me wanna kiss that lips of his. But unfortunately I didn't stick around long. But it was awesome. I love him so much. After today, my feelings for him deepen so much... No idea why, but I love him so much now. I love you Vic. Mwah~

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I'll miss you guys a lot.

Just got the news today by darling, he said, Sze nee and I are going to separate. And I was like huh? I was doing my revision for my last test on Monday. And he suddenly told me that I am gonna part from S2C1. I was really sad, disappointed. I've been in this class for two years, I've was hated then loved. They could be the craziest crowd I've ever mixed with. Especially Nee and Yivonn. Both of them, are my best, and they will always be. They're really crazy, we do everything together. We eat, we pee, we change PE clothes together, we study together, do math together,go tuition together, watch movie together. Man... It was really awesome. Nee and Yivonn both of them really encouraged me to do my best. They encouraged me my studies, society work, they were always there for me. And now I gotta part from you both. It hurts. But always remember my heart and support will always be with you both. Even though we can't change our PE clothes together, seldom pee together, or hang out. But you both are the best. And thank you both for giving me the best memories I can have. I'll miss QZ too. He has always been the funniest guy, he is really an awesome monitor I ever met. He is indeed awesome. You take care too. 韵慧,i'll miss ya tall lady. You're so awesome! You're the funniest, mature, friend. You're really a nice friend to hang out with. I'll be next door guys. haha... Please do invite me to all your class gathering and graduation trip. I wanna have fun with ya guys again. I love ya guys to bits! Mwah~

I'll be in a new class, gonna meet new people. Everything has changed, but thank God I still have cool friends there. 明谨,dolphin,光豪,思广(i've been in the same class with him for six years! since junior one! haha!),学明,承耀。 I am trying to look at the bright side. I cried though, cuz I dont wanna part with sze nee and yivonn. Now, my 2009 goal, be the first student in class. haha... Nic is gonna do her best in her last year in High School.
But I am the first student in class.. hehe... here comes the pressure. But Nic won't stop working hard for what she wants. God will lift her up.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I lurve my sistas.





I have to say I love my sistas a lot.
They are the best I've eva had. They are always there for me. And I really do love them.
Thankz to you both and I love you both very much. Its so quiet here without you two. Love ya guys a lot! Mwah!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Super human.

This is for my darling vic,

Weak
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How'd I survive when I can barely speak
Barely eat, On my knees

But that's the moment you came to me
I don't know what your love has done to me
Think I'm invincible
I see through the me I used to be

You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me
Super human, heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human
Super human

Strong
Since I've been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like I had it all along
I can see tomorrow

Where every problem is gone because
I flew everywhere but love inside of me
It's unbelievable to see how love can set me free

You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me
Super human, heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human
Super human

It's not a bird, not a plane
It's my heart and it's going, gone away
My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you
I feel like I can do anything
Going going, I'm gone away in love

You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me
Super human, heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human
Super human

Sunday, November 23, 2008

A new changed me.

First thing first.... I think I am a bit to know this.
PARAMORE'S FINAL RIOT! IS GONNA BE OUT ON 25.11!
I am so so so pyched I tell ya! Its like I can finally see her live concerts and stuff. No more sitting in front of the comp man. haha... I am so so pyched. Its a must buy thing! =)

okay... relating to the title up there.
I guess I am motivated to change myself into someone better.
Trust me people, you'll see a new and happy nic.
Emoness is outta my life. Officially.
Today, I went to church. The youths there, most of them are from the new zealand church.
They are just full of spirit, they are like ever ready to stand up for God.
And its really wonderful how God open up in their lives.
I mean, I should be like them, being all positive and all.
Be someone strong, and get defeated by little things and challenges.
I can conquer all this fear, all this negativity in me.
I am gonna be someone different.
Someone who will acheive great things. God will help me all the way.
I have faith in him.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

1 thing 2 do those 3 words 4 u. I love you.


This post is meant for my darling Vic.

Hey darling, its been days since I see you. I miss you a lot a lot! Even though we still contact each other quite often but really, its been a freaking long time since i see you. Its been a week or so, and I have to keep my hopes high for next week. Hoping I could see you again. I've waited in the classroom trying to let time pass by, hoping I could stay there as long as I could so I could see you at the gate, but I guess I was too early. I really wanna see you. You're just flooding up my thoughts. I can't help to think about you all the time. It's really insane, my mind is just bombarded by the memories we had, everything. I just can't help to replay it again and again, to get back the feeling. Cuz its really a long long time since we had time together, it has been almost a month or so. We never get to hang out, we never get to see each other that often. Each time I tell you this, you always said that it'll strengthen our bond. I just can't help but think why do you always make is sound so easy? It is not easy for me, not at all. Each time I try to stay strong for you. Hoping I could control my emotions. But each time I tried I fail. I've been trying my best to, but I kept on failing. However, you're just the guy who is meant for me, because I never ever felt such love before in my life. Ever ever. I love you so much till it hurts at times. My love for you can't be explained or be elaborated. Your grandpa just passed away yesterday, I know its really difficult for you, you don't have to tell I could feel it. You used to tell me how close you both were. And you just lose him yesterday. I know how it hurts. Losing my nanny is also something difficult for me. No one knew how important she was to me. But you're the only one. Vic, and I just really really hope that you could express more of your feelings to me. Its true you're someone quiet actually, and I learnt to accept that. But, I just hope you could express your feelings to me and tell me how you feel at times. So I could share this feeling, with you. I too treat you like my family, like the way you treat me as yours. And I treasure the time with you, and I feel like myself when I am with you. Right now as I am typing this blog post, I just feel like letting my tears out, because I really miss you so. And I can't help but to cry, cuz that's the only way I let out my frustrations and emotions. I love you.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Everything has changed.

This post actually is meant for Vic, but I do wanna update some stuff before I get to the point of my blog. I BOUGHT TWILIGHT!!! Okay, it was an excitement for me, cuz I am kinda fan of it? Kinda. The book is FREAKINGLY AWESOME! I finished half of the book yesterday which I am suppose to study my SPM. 8 more chapters left and I am ready to continue New Moon, which is another one. The love story between Bella and Edward, its awesome. It brings out a different genre of romance not those typical ones. Edward's thoughts is rather hard to decode. (*that's why the OST by Paramore is called Decode) But, I wanna study my Malay and continue the book after this week of exams. Happy mugging to myself. =)

Time to get into the point of my blog, which is named: everything has changed. Yea, indeed. Right now, I am so in the mood of writing this. The weather is cold, slightly dark, love the weather. And the music that is playing right now: Sunday bloody Sunday a cover song by paramore.

Things has changed a little bit in my relationship with Vic, its been almost close to 5 months, not that long, I know. Well, changed in what way? I am not too sure myself. Maybe I am too sensitive. But I guess that there is a good thing in being too sensitive. I was talking to Vic just now. He sounded a little emo? His voice sounded like he is sick of everything? Maybe? He said that my voice made him feel better, but I dont think so. Cuz he sound the same. As I was talking to him, I was contemplating on a lot of things. Like we're not like before. Like each time we talked on the phone, its like I am always so hypo and he is like so happy and stuff. Right now, I am hypo at times, he is like so bored, so sick. Maybe he is so used to it? I think. I really thought of not talking on the phone to him that often, is cuz, I hate how it felt each time I put the phone down. It was not satisfying, I felt even worse. Each time he asks me not to be emo and stuff. I am not emo, this is me, and each time I feel like that, my emotions became overwhelming, it kinda take over me, and each time I feel that way, I would write it down and express how I feel. And I like it, I won't hurt myself, its not that I am an emo. I am not at all, and I don't suit to be one anyway.

I am so in love with Vic, each time I would tell him how much I miss him, and he is like I miss you too. And then jump off to the next subject. And I am so turn off, so not in the mood after that. And it makes me feel like I am insanely in love with him, but he just sorta taking it for granted, like he knows that I'll always be there and I won't leave him. well, vic, I am not sure whether is that true. But I just hope you would treasure me a little and don't take whatever I said for granted because I meant every word I said, and if this keeps going on, I rather end all of this and stop the pain. And try to tell myself all of this didn't happen before. I am stronger than you think I am. I've been through lots of pain before, and I am a stronger person.

But, I have choices, I choose not to do that. Because Love overcomes everything. It changes a person. And I am willing to change my flaws to be a better person. I am willing to endure and be there for you, I am willing to hold all my frustrations and ignore all these negative emotions to love you more. I love you so much till words couldn't express. But the only thing I hope and want from you is that I hope you feel the same, and I hope you feel the same way as I did for you. Because I don't wanna get hurt again. I am willing to overcome all troubles to make this relationship better, for you and for me.

I am willing to change all things and improve what we have here. And treasure every phone call with you. Treasure everytime I spend with you.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Pressure.

Seems like everyone is working hard on their spm. And I and trying so hard to finish the Science, trying to get a nicer result. I am worried for my malay. I did the Prinsip Akaun that day, and dang,the sum didn't balance at all! I am so pissed. Argh....

Nic nic nic, work hard!! So pressured now. God help me man!!

Trully trully disappointed!

Today was really agonizing, painful, disappointing, any word you can use to describe how horrible and angry I felt today.

Today, I had this meeting in the auditorium that I am suppose to attend, and to me it was actually really important. The meeting was about the camp that I am suppose to attend, and I am part of the committee. So here goes, Vic told me to wait for him in front of the auditorium, at 11:00am. Tracey came to my class as she said she was passing by and so I followed her to the auditorium. I waited for Vic, waited and waited. Then maybe I thought, he had something to do, its okay if he is late. He'll come, even if he has something, he'll come and inform me, I kept believing this. Suddenly, I saw佳语in front of the auditorium with her bf, as always. And it kinda shook me when I saw her, cuz she is Vic's classmate, she is down her already, why isn't he? So I suggested to Tracey why not we go and look for him, maybe he is still in his class. And so we did.

We arrived there, and he saw us, he came out and told Tracey something, which obviously I wasn't listening, because I didn't have the mood. His facial expression really pissed me off! He looked like he didn't give a damn to this meeting. I mean if you are really busy at least, at least, inform me... Don't keep me waiting like an idiot really. So I just walked away. My heart sank so to the bottom of my shoes.

After that, I head straight to the auditorium, and宏棋asked:承泽在哪里??And I was like, oh, I went to his class and he had something up and he is coming later, and I look like I didn't care, but obviously I did care.

But seriously, I wasn't happy at all.... I know it is like a small thing and I am so sensitive towards this situation. But, I cared about everything that happened here. I decided to put my heart into this camp, I decided to be responsible for this camp as I am part of this committee. Its a huge team, but being part of it is really cool. And I think being punctual for meeting like this is a must.

And I missed Vic like crazy today, it was really tormenting for me. I tried to distract myself and put my attention on other things... But I can't, he just kept appearing in my thoughts.

Vic,
Today was insane for me, I was actually hurt. I don't like to be pissed or get angry at you. I don't like it at all... Not at all. Each time I get pissed at you my heart just peels, the more angry I am, the more my heart peels. You know how much I love you, and how much effort I put into this relationship just to make it last,because I care. And I try to compromise and be the best of myself, but sometimes its so difficult. But I choose to persist and stay strong for us. And I hope you'll do the same. Because I can't do it alone. And you know that. I love you so much Vic, so so much. And its been a crazy day today. Even though its a small issue but it did a lot of pain to my heart. I heart you.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

This is for Tracey.

Hey there dear Tracey, this post is for you.
Hope your results are okay, mine was slightly disappointing. But I am okay. ;)
Miss you a lot actually, you know why? Cuz you're my beloved sister, and you're the only sis and friend who really understands me. Been feeling kinda pressured this few days. There is so much I wanna tell you... After my spm we really need to hang out! And the society trip, we need to plan!!!!!! =)
I wanna give my best wishes to Anna. Hope she is doing fine. =)

I've bottled up my feelings and everything just so that I could express everything infront of you. I miss you a lot really.

No matter what, remember sis whenever you feel lonely or anything, just remember that I am always here for you. Always!!!! So each time you feel down just remember that me, Nicole, will always be here to cheer you on and cheer you up!!! Love you to bits!!!

Take care yea? Love you a lot!!! Mwah mwah!!!!!!

Decode video by paramore is out!!!!!!

Hey folks, Decode video by Paramore is finally out! It's preview is on yesterday actually, but, I was a little late. =p Hayley is really pretty i think. The video is kinda weird though, but I am just waiting for the movie to come out. Twilight rocks! After all my exams I am getting the book! Love it!

click on the link below. Enjoy it peeps!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS_dZtXCWEU



Friday, October 31, 2008

A day with vic.

Today is really awesome!!! Exams are over, and I could rest this brain of mine for the time being before spm starts.

I had an awesome time with Victor today. We went to tebrau ctiy. We sat a public bus there, it was a really nice ride, love every moment. Our actual plan is just go have baskin robins then head home. But we reached there around 11 am? And its early for movie, really early, so we went to the movie theatre and bought a 11:30 am movie, we watched hsm3 of course. haha... The movie was nice I think... I love Gabriela's dress in that movie, every dress she wore really looks good on her. And then we went to the bookshop, then we went to Lavender to have lunch. Its really cool that we talked out loads of stuff in front of each other, be honest in front of each other. Overall, it was an awesome date I think.

It was quite short but.. I lurve every moment..

Vic, thankzx a lot for today. I really had an awesome time with you.
It was such a nice date. Just talking and talking... I lurve it a lot! Lurve you darling! Mwah~

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I should try french or maybe spanish?

Everyone is using English to write their blogs these few days... I guess its kinda cool maybe??
However for me, I wanna try something different..
I wanna learn Spanish or maybe French, even though people wont understand but its kinda cool I think.

Its time for some self redeeming on the hols..
Do the stuff I wanna do, do stuff that I am unable to do for this whole year..
Its been hectic for this whole year...
And I really don't even have time for myself.

I know its only the end of October, but I really think time flies way too fast,
its like I thought it was the starting of the year,
so many things happened,
I've learned so many things this year, all of a sudden...
And I realized that I love being the ordinary 17 year old Nicole.
And I love my life.
Even though I am not all that brilliant in school,
Even though my grades are not the best in class,
but I am satisfied with what I have.
Don't like giving myself all the pressure,
try to shove all the stuff in front of my face and force myself to get no.1.
For me, as long as I get the marks I want.

I might not be brilliant in High School,
but I am waiting for my Uni,
I wanna score high for Uni.
Its a place where I get to study the things in the language I want.
Can't wait.

I guess which Uni doesn't matter,
As long as I am able to cope with the things I am studying,
And its my interest.
As long as I get to do the things I wanna do.

But right now, I am happy with what I have,
Hope my dear Tracey is doing fine,
Miss that gal so much.
Love her and hope for the best for her.

I am just happy where I am,
who I am.
And I don't care what people say,
I might suck in my Mandarin,
I dont mind,
everyone suck in something somehow.
As long as I don't lose myself on the way of achieving something.

Love my life.



Sunday, October 26, 2008

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry to talk to you like that just now.. I really am sorry...

Maybe because I was really afraid, really afraid that you are just like one of those guys i know, those guys who just came into my heart and just break it without a thought, I dont want you to be those guys.. I know you are real different from them, and I chose to believe that you are different.

I just recently felt that your love for me werent the same like before,
Maybe it went a little cold?
I dont know.
But I hope that its this retard head of mine that gave me such thoughts.

I really love you a lot,
I never love anyone like this before,
I never felt love like this before,
Never.
And I want it to last,
I pray that this love will last for eternity,
I know its impossible,
But I choose to believe the impossible,
Because that is where miracles happen.

You might not know how important you are in my life,
Words cant even elaborate how important you are.
I need you so much,
I need to talk to you every single day,
I need your voice every single day.
I cherish you so so much,
Because a guy like you is hard to find.

I love you Vic,
so so much.
And I am really sorry.

SORRY.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Helpless.

What will happen to us after the next ten years?
Will we actually get what we want?
Will we still be together like now?

I am so afraid and hopeless...

I love you too much to even let go off u...
I am gonna leave this place soon...
But really... I hope we're able to fulfill our dream...
we're gonna leave here and go to Switzerland...
Somewhere we could have a peaceful life...
Somewhere we could be alone...
Somewhere we could just stay together and not part anymore...

All I could do is pray hard....

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Please! Someone just believe me!!!

Where is the fucking justice!
Yeah, I know we locked ourselves in the classroom but that doesnt mean we did anything in there... Gosh.. I fucking didnt do anything with him in there...

Yet.. I cant do anything to prove that I didnt do anything..
Feeling so fucked up now....

You know who gives a fuck anyway... go ahead just freaking punish me for my doing.
I know that I am innocent, you ppl might not believe....
But.. I wanna strongly fight for my rights... I might not have any proof to say that I didnt do anything in there... But neither you people have any proof to show that we did anything in that fucked up classroom....

I give up.. go ahead ppl....
I'll accept whats gonna happen and stuff....



Thursday, October 16, 2008

Lucky

LUCKY

My love... I just cant imagine how lucky I am to have you.
You're everything to me....
This is for you:

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I am lucky to have you my dear.

Pissed off!!!!!

So what my Chinese sucks...I know that I am a bit slow in memorizing it... You dont have to laugh at me! Go ahead laugh your ass off!!! You know what, I dont care.. I dont give a shit! At least I am good in my english and Malay..Unlike you.... At least I tried... I'll get freaking good results for my chinese!!! I will!!! ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME!

Friday, October 10, 2008

S2C1

Had my class gathering during oct 1.. It was quite awesome... Had a blast there... We went Tanjung Puteri which is in Pasir Gudang... Love it a lot... Haha... There are some pics here and there.. S2C1 rockz...



This is me... they took my pic without me realizing... Haha..









Us at the room... this is the room that I slept in...




Me and my monitor... After Swimming... Haha.. He is such a funny guy!



This is me and my vice monitor. He is a talented guy i tell ya! Every gals dream bf they say.. Bt not mine!



Me, Yun Hui, Sze Nee...Dinner time... We had steam boat... which is so freaking fabulous.. Our dinner was scrumptious.. Yumm yumm..








Wanna intro some peeps from my class.. the popular ones..

This is sze nee... She may be small, but she is full with capability... She is the 3rd student in our class...Smartie pants... And an awesome friend. Awesome gal. Love her lotz!

He is Ser Guang, a windsurfer and a good cook... Had been in the same class with him for 5 years. awesome guy too!


This is Yun hui, she is the tallest and thinest gal in class.. Good in studies too... Great gal.. Good at singing... She is really mature yet filled with sense of humour... Love her too!














This Kai Huang, what can I say? He is the hottest guy in class... Which he id really an awesome dude! He is the captain of our school's basketball team, good in studies, has a great bod, quite good looking. He wants to be a Economics Professor.. He is way funny too.. every gals dream guy, but not mine.. Haha...






After this gathering, I realize how awesome this people can get.. Really funny people... they are jz awesome peeps... All the best to S2C1. Next year is our last year.. I'll miz u guys.... Love you guys!!!!

RANDOM PICS!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Roxy rockzx!

Saw a couple of stuff in the Roxy website which is really really really nice... I am so in love with their dresses!!!
Love it so much!!!
ROXY♥ROXY♥ROXY♥ROXY♥ROXY♥ROXY♥ROXY♥ROXY♥

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Farewell peeps.

Yesterday was ELS's farewell party... it was really fun but sad at the same time... I'll miss you all a lot... when I saw priscilla cry, I cant help but to cry... Cuz she is exactly like me, the things she been through... Its really the same...

To the senior three people, man... they really took care of me... really took care of me, gave me so much love, make me feel that I could love this society even more...

I'll miss yen qi, i really love her so much.. she is so much fun... I really love her like my elder sis, Jenny, thankz for trusting me that I can be a rs leader, thankzx for trusting me, I'll do a good job, priscilla aka hot tuna, man... you rock, we might not be close, but... you're so awesome!!! Love you to bits! Jie wei, man, big guy, tkz a lot... you're really a great friend, really awesome. jia round, man.. you brought so much happiness to this society. Peter and Jobie, thankz a lot for accepting me into this family... tkz a lot..We'll never forget you, els welcomes you always and forever....

Next year will be my turn... The person that I dont wanna leave the most in this society is my dear sister traceline and zoey. They're the most awesome ppl I can ever find, especially trace, you're like my twin, I could say a thousand times and yet is not enough...You're like my sister, my best friend, without you i cant stay strong till this day... I dont wanna think so much bout next year's farewell but all I can do is cherish every moment, in this home of mine, not sure what will next year be... But I'll try to do my best and I'll try to make the best out of it. I'll try my best to be an awesome RS leader. Vic and Trace I'll do my best... I wont let you both down. definitely.

To the farewell party committee
Without you guys this will never happen,
especially yivonn and traceline...
Yivonn you did so much, put in so much effort in this society,
and in this farewell party, you're responsible. And really, thankz for trusting me that I can do a good job. There's so many in the future but I know this friend of mine, yivonn will help mem give me support thru out the whole thing. Thank you. mwah~
Traceline dear, you gave me so much support, though it might be frustrating thru out the whole process but you wont fail to ask me to stay strong. thank you so so much. you gave me so much ideas.. And I wouldnt have do it without you.
You two, really i wanna thank you both from the bottom of my heart.
士豪, tkz a lot lad, you really helped out a lot... thankz for your ideas...
and lastly, victor darling, thankxz for your support and everything, thankzx for believing in me... I need your full support no matter what. I love u!

ELS ROCKZ SO SO MUCH!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Honesty.

Victor,
It might be hard for us, hard for me, hard for you...
But I believe we could pull it through...
Like you said, love that go through hardships are true love,
I'll stay strong and trust what you said...
Sometimes it's hard to love me
Sometimes it's hard to love you too
I know it's hard believing
That love can pull us through
It would be so easy
To live your life


All I ask from you is try to be honest to me,
tell me your thoughts,
tell me what you want,
tell me what do you actually have in mind.
Please, thats what I ask from you...
Its you being honest to me...
I dont care whether it hurts me inside,
I dont care whether it cuts me inside,
I dont care whether I am bleeding inside...
I dont care bout all of this..
It hurts more when you keep everything inside,
It hurts more when you hide things from me...
All I ask from you is you to be honest to me.
Thats all I ask from you.
Honesty

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Specially For Tracey.

Hey, Tracey...
I just wanna say its okay... But no matter what...
I'll be strong...
Just stay with me all the time...
I really need your support fully...
Eventhough I have my friends and vic,
but tracey, yours really mean the world to me...
You;re like my sister,
Just like my another twin..
I am really sorry that I let you down being negative and all.
But I'll change my views, my negative thinking...
I'll be strong,
I'll be the same nicole you have ever known...
The happy, the hypo,
the freak, the crazy one...
this is my promise to you.
Love ya a lot tracey~
Thankz so much!
Mwah~

I can conquer this fear!!!!

I am not too sure what thoughts I am having now,
but for sure they are really scary thoughts...
First is about Vic,
I am afraid...
Afraid of wot?
Afraid of losing you,
Afraid you will fall for someone else,
Afraid you will be so busy and I'll lose you just like that..
This fear fill me up with tears,
fill me up with anger....
But I know I could conquer this fear with God's help.

Secondly, its about being a RS leader,
Afraid of wot?
Afraid of pressure,
Afraid I might not be able to bring fun to the members,
Afraid I cant lead my members well,
Afraid that I cant provide good ideas...
This fill me up with tears,
fill me up with pressure,
But I know I could conquer this fear with God's help.

Lastly, its about my studies,
Afraid of wot?
Afraid I cant achieve good results,
Afraid I cant get the results I want,
Afraid I cant make it out of pressure.
This too fill me up with tears,
fill me up with frustrations.
But I know I could conquer this with God's help.

Jesus Christ you are my refuge, my strength,
you promise to lift me out of the miry clay,
you'll be there to guide me,
be there to help me and support me.
Thank you father.
I'll put my trust in you like what you ask me to,
"trust in the lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding,
In all ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths."

Nicole will conquer this fear,
and she'll be the happy gal that you all know.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I am so lucky!

Gosh, what can I say huh?
I feel like I am the luckiest person on earth...
Being emo for the past few days was like awful..its like so tiring and all...
But right now I am learning how to appreaciate how life goes,
Cuz it has to be imperfect to be perfect....
things might not turn out the way its suppose to be,
but its okay...
cuz everything happens for a reason...
Eventhough I might not get what I want,
eventhough I tried so hard in acheiving it,
I'll try again...
No giving up.
Chinese might be a difficult subject,
but I have to try my best to acheive it...

Thankzx darling for being such a great person.
you're really sweet!!!
I love you really much darling!
Really much!!! Mwah mwah mwah!!!!
Love you darling...
I love what we're having right now...
I love everything!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

•Messed up!•

Feeling hungry,
feeling dirty,
feeling messed up.
Is this what normal peeps feel?
Feeling really pain inside,
its like,
You wanna scream it out loud,
You wanna break free from this shit you're going through,
Trying so hard to actually find a true best friend,
who actually listen to all your crap, your feelings,
relate them in the exact same way,
Trying to fit in a place where you actually belong...
Cuz you're so sick of faking it,
so sick of acting,
showing this people you're fine,
but inside you're bleeding,
you're crying,
you're screaming...
I don't know bout tis peeps,
but I am like that for sure....
I am trying to fake it..
Its like putting on a mask every single day till it becomes a habit...
Till you don't know what has become of you...

Vic,
I wanna apologize for feeling this way,
I am waiting for your call,
but you're asleep..
All I can do is write my feelings out here....
The thing i wanna ask is...
"Am I holding onto you too tight?"
Please do tell me...
So I know when I can let go...

Sunday, August 31, 2008

△To my darling Vic△

Yesterday was the worst day of my week,
but it made me stronger.
When I left, I thought you would come after me, at least tell me something, or at least accompany me to the bus stop.
But you didn't, you just sat there and see me leave.
When I reached the bus stop, I never gave up the believe that you were behind me,
But, no, you weren't there.
My heart was in pieces, my heart was peeling, I felt the intense pain, its different from what I used to feel in the past...
This time is even worse,
I was filled with anger and hurt,
I was so hurt,
the things you said in the past,
you didn't do it,
it was a lie,
a total lie.
You told me to trust you,
I tried to trust you,
I took that big step to trust you,
But you left me there.
You made me lose my trust in you.

I aboard the bus,
my tears welled up in my eyes,
I just kept holding back my tears,
I know I can't shed this tear for you,
I told myself that I was strong enough,
I am independent,
I am strong.
But no,
I was lying,
lying to myself,
telling myself that everything is fine.
It made me worse.
I was suffocating in pain,
I can't catch my breath.
I just stood in the bus,
looking outside the window.
My tears fell,
it rolled down my cheek,
I can't control it...

Reached CS,
the only place I knew I could run to is Music Kaki,
It was the only place in CS I felt like home.
I rushed, I didn't see the road,
I crossed it like there's no tomorrow..
I reached there, hoping huiz would be there.
But she wasn't.
But thank God Wayne was there...
I went in there,
and I just cried on the spot!! Embarrassing though..
Wayne consoled me... Helped me...
I was feeling better.

Vic,
you left me there,
I was so hurt my darl,
I love you really much,
At that time I was contemplating that whether did I made the wrong decision to trust you or love you,
But I hope this won't happen to me,
I don't wanna fall to pieces..
I just had enough of crying for you,
I wanna be happy about the things you did for me,
I wanna be happy about what we have..
You're so important to me,
so important...
I love you so much,
there's no word could express how I feel about you..
I hope that we'll be able to go through loads of challenges together.
I heart you.

Thank you all for everything, I truly appreciate it.

Tracey dearest,
Thank you for your blog post, its truly touching to know that they is someone like you there for me,
and I am so freaking grateful that God placed someone like you there in front of me, a sister who would go through the ups and downs with me. Like yesterday, you were there for me 24/7! And its like you understand everything, its so hard to fine someone who feels the same and thinks the same as me, and there you are sis. Its like you're my another twin, its just that we look different. I'll stay strong, I'll be the happy nicole you know. Cuz that is who I really am. The emo nicole is vanished from now on. Thankz a lot my dear sister... Thankz so much! Love you lotz!

家源:
我看到你写的东西~怎么说我还蛮感动的~
谢谢你的关心,我会一直保持着笑容~我会坚强的面对困难~
昨天,只是个小小的障碍罢了~哈哈~我会面对它的~哈哈!
谢谢啦~~~^^

Sunday, August 24, 2008

To Tracey and Sze nee..

Tracey:
Hey sista.. its been a long time since i see you or hear from you,
Never get to hear your adorable voice...sigh...
was suppose to watch movie together but I wasnt able to go...
Sorry sis,
But First thing of all!
I miz u so much!!!!
Gosh, come to think about it, we're sorta alike,the way we think and do...^^
But of course you are much more adorable than me,
Haha! Anyways, really hope to see u man!!! Haha..Love you loads!!! Mwah!

Nee:
there u go, yr pic... I think its really adorable dear!
Haha...
I miz u during the hols too...
Hope you have fun during the camp...^^
Thankzx and thankzx again for being there for me always always....^^
Love u lotz! Muackzx!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I am back!






































Just got back from penang... its an awesome trip i guess?
got loads of pics to upload but I am sorta lazy,
I juz picked a few here and there...
Just cut my bangs,
Looking like a small gal i mz say...
Had a lot of fun in Penang..
I got loads to post now!!
Okay, first the Olympics...
Woo-hoo!!!
My favourite Olympian of all...
Mr. Phelps!!!( I think he is mostly everyones fav!)
he is soooooo hot!




















And there is Kobe Bryant, my fav. basketball player, although I must admit,
this game I watched hours ago was sorta disappointing...
But, USA still won Spain... Hehe...U go dreamteam!!!




















Okay, enough of Olympics..
Tomorrow school is starting,
kinda psyched...
But...
At the same time its like time for pressure...=(
However, I can meet darl once again...
I can meet tracey and nee, and yivonn,
and I am really happy!!!
Haha... Irony feeling..

to my beloved,

Its a new start for us,
there maybe loads of challenges in the future,
but I hope for the best...
I pray that God will watch over us..
I pray that God will be there for us no matter what...
Thankzx so much for all the things u've done...
Appreciate it with all my heart...
thank you so much~
I love you.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Do i deserve a post like this?

I dont think i deserve to be a committee... I really dont think so..
I am afraid I'll disappoint the people around me and mostly the people who are above me...
Its difficult.. I got no experience in RS... I am new towards this stuff... and now I am the leader?
Vic said there's no point complaining cuz I am already here..
I am already the leader and I cant change that...
Yeah, it might be true... But really.. I have no faith in myself...
People might have faith in me, but there's no point if i dnt have faith in myself...

Vic, do forgive me..
Do forgive me for being like this always...
being all emo and stuff..
But whenever the sky turns black, the rain starts falling....
Raindrops start touching the ground,
I can't control but to be like the weather,
gloomy, sad and down....
It cant be controlled I dont know why..
I start savoring the weather,
thoughts will rush into my head,
my heart starts to feel heavy,
my eyes starts to filled up with tears...
For no reason...
Maybe it's because of the hurt from the past...
That still lingers in my heart...
Make my heart bleed,
its still healing...
and Vic you are my medicine...
I love u very much...
I dont know bout the challenges we'll face in the future..
But we'll face it together,
it makes us tired,
but I hope it makes us love each other more,
makes us rely and need each other more...
I hope so...
I love u.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

☆All around me ☆

All around me

My hands are searching for you

My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm still alive, I'm still alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you, you

I'm still alive
I'm still alive
We're still alive

And I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

So I cry
Holy
The light is white
Holy
And I see you
Only You

And I'm alive
I'm still alive
We're still alive

And I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed

Friday, August 8, 2008

♥I am yours...♥

To my darling Victor...

I am really sorry for posting such a hurting post before that...
I decided to post something specially for you... Just to tell you how I feel and everything...

I am so in love with you,
I really am in love with you...
I never felt this way before,
never felt for someone like this before...
this feelings are indescribable...
I get so excited when I see you,
feel so happy when I'm with you,
I don't feel nervous,
I feel that I am myself...
When we sit close together,
my heart beats so fast,
When we talk to each other,
when we looked at each other,
I just kept hoping that time would stop for me,
so I could just face you and talk to you for a long time...
The size of your hand,
the broadness of your shoulders...
are just nice and perfect enough for me...
You're all I want,
You're all I need,
I want to hold onto you till the end..

Those words you said to me touched me in every way,
you said you gave your whole heart to me,
I promise I'll take good care of it,
you said I am the first girl you loved so much,
I am the first girl who showed you what love is,
the girl who you cant stop thinking of no matter where you are...

I am really sorry that I doubt your feelings for me at first,
I am really sorry that I don't trust you...
I am sorry...
Now I am taking that big step,
I am gonna be brave to step out,
and to trust you...
I will...
I won't wanna let you down ever ever again~
I am yours...
I
♥ you.


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

♥I am weak, I am useless without you...♥

What is it thats going on?
I really dont know why God put so many challenges between us..
I cant take it anymore..
It hurts really..
My heart is really tired...
Each time we get over something...
Another thing just have to come up...
It wont fail to make me cry, to break me down..
Maybe we're not suppose to be together...
Maybe its a sign?
I dont know.. But hell it hurts...
It hurts so much...
My heart is so bruised...
So bruised from everything...
God please dont do this us...
Please...

Monday, August 4, 2008

How I hope you could see my pain!

I've been faking it all the while, without you knowing...
I really wanna tell you how much pain I am going through loving you...
But what if I tell you you would never wanna talk to me ever again...
I am sorry but I am an obsessive bitch... Jealousy can take over me very soon...
And this is who I am.. I hide it so no one would see it including you..
I bury it just to let it disappear....
But its getting worse somehow cuz it'll never disappear...
It has been growing inside of me,
but I am controlling it...
Just to let it disappear slowly...

The time we have to spend are just too little...
I am so afraid I might lose you,
I am so afraid you'll go somewhere else,
and leave me here waiting for you,
I am so afraid that you'll be gone in my life....
I am filled with fear,
all that can't be described using words...

I know I cant own all of you,
I know I cant take your heart for myself...
I know I cant hold onto you always....

Thats why thoughts of me letting go off you resonates in my mind,
But I am not strong enough to let you go...
I am not brave enough to let you go...
I am just too weak..
When you are beside me...
I am too weak to make this decision..
Too weak..

I've been crying inside all along..
I wanna try to trust you,
I really want you to show me where and how to trust you..
But till today you haven't gain my trust...
I am sorry...

I do really love you,
I do...
I love you so much...
Too much that every small mistake you made,
made me so mad and hurt...
And every word you said that just touched my heart,
wont make me stop falling for you...
I will just keep on falling into the dark pit...
I cant get out...
I am unable...




Sunday, August 3, 2008

What a Saturday....

Yesterday was a weird day... I cant really explain...First there's down then there's ups...
First... It was my friend... A friend I never thought would react this way to me... Who gives a shit bout that bitch really, she is a true disappointment... She wrote a composition about me.. first you'l think its so sweet.. but hell havent started yet! She wrote how much she hated this friend of hers... She wrote that I have the intention to steal her boyfriend!!! Its like WTF! Hello!! I am way not interested in him man! Totally not my type of guy!!!! Man... its way way ridiculous that she said stuff like this...Man man... I really cant imagine how stupid can that get! Haha! Later on she wrote about me being so irresponsible about handling her stuff... Its like she said I kept on delaying, I am like haha!! Hello! I've been really busy okay! I am trying my best to do the best for you cuz you're a friend that I cared about! Its stupid really..haha~!! Something for me to laugh at at least... Stuff like that wont bring me down... But I really got comments to give her
" well... Mrs whatever, I dnt think I wanna name you at all... well you've been really weird... Like the first thing I could never never accept that you saying me wanting to steal your boyfriend.. Come on man! Your boyfriend is just a friend and I would never want him.. And I really think the way you lock him up.. thats so sad for him somehow its not my business.. the big point is.. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR MAN!!! You know its really sad that you treat me this way, cuz I seriously cared about you cuz you were cast out from our class... Later on, I realize it was yourself who cast it upon yourself... I realize after the charity sales activity.. I knew you did a lot... I knew you tried your best... I was there to try to believe that you did your best.. Yet... after that I realize... You're so good to put the blame on others... Its like wtf!!!! The more I write the more I get really pissed off!!! But I gotta be calm anyhow. You're just a faker.. If you really hated me then say so.. Stop pretending.. Cuz I really hate fakers!!!!"


Okay.. society day.. Today is our Election day...
It was a blast!
We've got a new committee....
The president is none other than my darl...Victor. It was kinda predicted somehow!haha
The vice president is Traceline, I am so proud of my babe!!!
Educational Section Leader is Xin Yi.. She deserved it!!!
Recreational Section Leader is none other than the insane me!
Art leader is Ching2... She rockz man!
secretary Cora, ass.secretary kai xuan,
treasurer Yin toong,
auditor Yin yee
General Affair is Mr beaver...
An awesome commitee! It'll be a blast next year!!!! Haha!!!!

My next project is the farewell party...
Hmmm... time to get started! haha...

Loves,
Nicole Jaden

Friday, August 1, 2008

For people who really cares...

Just got a new blog,
To let those who really understands me, who really loves me,
who really cares about me...
I am so sick of fakers...

I am just who I am, and nothing is gonna change that..
I love being who I am...
No one can change me...

I have a life that I really love,
A family who is there for me,
Friends who are super awesome,
And an awesome guy who I really love...
And I am happy with this life!

I just wanna thank my dearest sister Tracey for writtin a post for me.
Its really awesome and touching,
She is just the only girl I think who really understands how I feel...
She is the only girl who really cares and been through the same things as me...
And I really thank God for letting me know this awesome girl!
Cheers to our friendship ahead!
I love Tracey to bits!!!

Loves,
Nicole Marie Jaden