Thursday, August 27, 2009

I am at it again.

I guess I am at it again. Doing stupid things. Maybe I should wake up from this dream of mine. I am so close to being hurt, yet I cant pull myself out. I don't even know what am I doing to myself. I keep telling myself to get out of this fast but I cant. I just keep drowning.

I kept waiting,
It reminds me what I would do in the past,
waiting for someone who actually broke my heart,
yet,
I wont learn from my mistakes,
and I just kept going on....
I gotta get myself out.. I really have to.
I am so scared,
so afraid to get hurt,
I had enough of tears.




I dont know why I trust your words that easily,
I just trust you without even thinking twice,
please,
mean what you said,
please,
I dont wanna get hurt again..
Please.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The two best sisters you could ever ask for.




You both could be the most annoying freaks I've ever know, but at the same time you both could be such wonderful darlings... I love you both so damn much!! You both know me best, forgive me for my emoness these days... I'll be back soon... I will... No worries k??? I couldnt thank God enough for giving me you both.

Shan, I might have quarrell with you like most of the time, likeevery single day over stupid pathetic stuff... But I still love you.


Rach, you've been the most selfless person I've ever met in my entire life, you are just so nice to us, especially me.I really love you for being such a darling. I love you so so much...










Saturday, August 22, 2009

Sorry

I am sorry for being so cranky these few days...

Things arent all that good for me...

I have not changed...

I am just not in a good mood, not in control with my feelings...

I have not changed...

I am sorry that I am selfish...

I am sorry for being rude...

Sorry for everything...
Yeah...

EVERYTHING...

I am not perfect...

I am not trying to be...

SORRY

Friday, August 21, 2009

I cant live without you guys

Yipee... the hols is finally here... Pei Qi, Shi, Kong Hao... You guys are like the best people to hang out with, I dont know what to do without you all... You all really took care of me... I really dont know what to do without you all... really...

I gotta really thank Kong Hao for being such a nice nice nice friend, for fetching me home most of the time, knowingly, that there's a distance between my house and his, I really gotta thank him for everything.. A big HUG for you!!!! Thank you so much...=) and, between things you and hijau... I dont know.. just trust you insticts, but I really dont want to see you getting hurt again. Cz its not nice...

Pei Shi, I know you are going though a lot.. The pain and hurt, but always remember that I am always here for you... You can be strong, we are gonna teman you till the end.. We are going to be here with you, and you'll forget all the hurt you've been thru. Mr Talley seems to be nice guy, whatever it is, trust you insticts darling. That is all it matters, people can say all they want, just trust your insticts.

Pei Qi, you've been the child between us, but, you appear to be the strongest among us. Without you, Pei Shi and I wont be as stable as now, without you, we wouldnt be still laughing our ass off... Thanks to you darling that we're smiling and laughing again. =)



August its such a blast, this month has been really painful for us... It really is... Ha.. But, because of all those things that happened, it pulled our frienship closer.. Love you guys to bits!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I am such an idiot.

Falling for someone is easy,
to believe someone seems so easy,
to be lied by someone seems easier.

Making decisions,
choosing,
its such an effort.

Sometimes we wish we dont even need to choose,
sometimes we wish we could have both,
but,
knowingly,
its way to greedy, its way to impossible.

Falling for someone else when you're in a relationship is wrong,
you broke someone's heart,
yet,
you dont even know whether you made the right decision,
the right decision to choose someone else,
yet,
you dont even know whether that person you chose will take care of your heart,
you dont even know whether it is worth it choosing that person.






I wish to drown myself in my sorrows...
I wish to be drowned by them,
I wish to stay there,
and not get up...


I give up....

I had enough....

I had enough pain and hurt...

Hoping time will past faster,
so I could leave this place,
leave all the hurt and pain behind,
live a new life some where else,
start afresh.

Forgetting every pain and hurt that I've been thru....

Monday, August 17, 2009

S3C2





Life with you all has been quite interesting enough...

I am so happy right now, with everything and all...

Without you guys I would be so bored, so bored....

Fun time is over... Time for us to get back to studying... Back to the hectic life...

Time for us to put studying as our first priority...

This year is such a blast...

I couldnt thank you all enough...

Graduation examination is like a month away,

UEC 2 months away...

3 more months till graduation....

Everything is happening way too fast...

S3C2 has made the last year in FY so much fun for me....

Love y'all to bits....
+

Thursday, August 13, 2009

happy with everything.


I love you both darlings... Pei Qi and Pei See. After so many things, we are so close now... I am so happy with both of you, being great friends all the time... Making me happy whenever I am down.. We laugh together, go through difficulties together.. I couldnt be happier that we're so close now... I love you both darlings so much!
Pei Qi... Forever the small kid between us... Love you no matter what you are... You always made us happy...
Pei Shi... Forever the sporty gal... Love you as much as I love Pei Qi...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Silence

A sudden silence.. After I made a decision even though it hurts, but it is my choice. My choice to be single, my choice to leave you, my choice to stop loving you.



I know it is hard to accept for you. But, you just got to.


It is my decision, it will be final.

From now onwards..

I will stop loving you.

I will keep you away from my dreams.

I will cast you out of my thoughts.



So please.... respect my decision.

Whatever it is.

It is gonna be this way.

I wont explain why did I did it. But I just did.

Please. Stop loving me like always, for I am not worthy.

So let me put an end to our forever.

Our story will just end by now.


Silence.