Everything has changed.

This post actually is meant for Vic, but I do wanna update some stuff before I get to the point of my blog. I BOUGHT TWILIGHT!!! Okay, it was an excitement for me, cuz I am kinda fan of it? Kinda. The book is FREAKINGLY AWESOME! I finished half of the book yesterday which I am suppose to study my SPM. 8 more chapters left and I am ready to continue New Moon, which is another one. The love story between Bella and Edward, its awesome. It brings out a different genre of romance not those typical ones. Edward's thoughts is rather hard to decode. (*that's why the OST by Paramore is called Decode) But, I wanna study my Malay and continue the book after this week of exams. Happy mugging to myself. =)

Time to get into the point of my blog, which is named: everything has changed. Yea, indeed. Right now, I am so in the mood of writing this. The weather is cold, slightly dark, love the weather. And the music that is playing right now: Sunday bloody Sunday a cover song by paramore.

Things has changed a little bit in my relationship with Vic, its been almost close to 5 months, not that long, I know. Well, changed in what way? I am not too sure myself. Maybe I am too sensitive. But I guess that there is a good thing in being too sensitive. I was talking to Vic just now. He sounded a little emo? His voice sounded like he is sick of everything? Maybe? He said that my voice made him feel better, but I dont think so. Cuz he sound the same. As I was talking to him, I was contemplating on a lot of things. Like we're not like before. Like each time we talked on the phone, its like I am always so hypo and he is like so happy and stuff. Right now, I am hypo at times, he is like so bored, so sick. Maybe he is so used to it? I think. I really thought of not talking on the phone to him that often, is cuz, I hate how it felt each time I put the phone down. It was not satisfying, I felt even worse. Each time he asks me not to be emo and stuff. I am not emo, this is me, and each time I feel like that, my emotions became overwhelming, it kinda take over me, and each time I feel that way, I would write it down and express how I feel. And I like it, I won't hurt myself, its not that I am an emo. I am not at all, and I don't suit to be one anyway.

I am so in love with Vic, each time I would tell him how much I miss him, and he is like I miss you too. And then jump off to the next subject. And I am so turn off, so not in the mood after that. And it makes me feel like I am insanely in love with him, but he just sorta taking it for granted, like he knows that I'll always be there and I won't leave him. well, vic, I am not sure whether is that true. But I just hope you would treasure me a little and don't take whatever I said for granted because I meant every word I said, and if this keeps going on, I rather end all of this and stop the pain. And try to tell myself all of this didn't happen before. I am stronger than you think I am. I've been through lots of pain before, and I am a stronger person.

But, I have choices, I choose not to do that. Because Love overcomes everything. It changes a person. And I am willing to change my flaws to be a better person. I am willing to endure and be there for you, I am willing to hold all my frustrations and ignore all these negative emotions to love you more. I love you so much till words couldn't express. But the only thing I hope and want from you is that I hope you feel the same, and I hope you feel the same way as I did for you. Because I don't wanna get hurt again. I am willing to overcome all troubles to make this relationship better, for you and for me.

I am willing to change all things and improve what we have here. And treasure every phone call with you. Treasure everytime I spend with you.