Thursday, January 28, 2010

Changed me?




Before coming to Australia, I thought it would be tormenting to be faraway from home. Homesick is like inevitable. The first week was what I've expected, tormenting. Agonizing. It was slightly unbearable cuz I wasnt use to it at all.
The second week turned better, it was a better week for me, exciting was the word. The first venue I visited was Philip Island. The waves and the colour of the sea water, was really amazingly beautiful. The wind was chilly, it was a 20 degrees day. The city life was even better, buying a tram ticket from the chemist and board the tram was my usual routine. Then I got off to Colin Street, where branded goods like hermes, chanel, louis vuitton, etc was located just right there. There I started walking along until I reached Swanston Street, where Myers, David Jones was all located there. A shopping heaven. A couple of baskers filled the streets, many beautiful people roam the streets in their latest fahionable wears, from the most expensive Salvotore Ferragamo shoes to the cheapest Rubi shoes.

Meeting new people, people who mostly lived half a century, there we sat having fine dinner every night, with the accompliment of red and white wine. Listening to advises from them, from money to love, to marriage. Almost every day I was travelling on various luxurious car, BMW 7 series, Mercedes S class, to the adorable mini.. etc. Visiting houses that cost almost 1 and half mil. then I thought to myself, yes, this is the life I wanna live.

I wanna live a comfortable life, a life where there are no debts, this is no dream because many people out there are living such a life. The key is not difficult. It is just to be knowledgeable in the area of your job, and while buliding your own riches, never hold back for anyone. Most ladies here that I've met built their own riches, they arent reliant to their spouse. This is what I want to be.

Melbourne, a city where you can find beautiful parks filled with the abundance of greenery just right in the middle of the bustling city. Living in Melbourne is just like how the city is located itself, everything out there is moving fast, but deep down in your heart there is peace and serenity, it is somewhat irony.

Yes, Melbourne, I am coming back here once again. I'll live here very soon. Just a few more years and I am able to enjoy your beauty. Embrace it.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

whatever it takes

Vic I'd always wanted to tell you this...


A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes


I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Life in Melbourne

Life here is so different from Malaysia. Its hard to be faraway from home, I really miss my home a lot. In the past I've always wanted to be here, to be able to able to have a chance to travel. And now, I have the chance, I am complaining. Hoping that its not so long.. one month is truly long...
I have a month to go... I really wanna enjoy my time here..

Vic, I miss you a lot here. Whatever you said yesterday hurt me insanely. I hate it... I love you very much, and its like I feel something missing in my life without you. You are the only thing I know like the back of my hand... I really cant take it if I am not talkin to you, not with you. How can I take it when I am away from you?? .... I miss you a lot..=(

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Why is this happening?

I never could understand why things are happening this way for us. All those promises we made were just crap anyhow, all those things we said are just crap.

I could feel the pain in my heart, as if a knife stabbed through it a thousand times.

I knew I loved him from the very bottom of my heart, I gave everything I had for him. But, all I get is hurt after hurt. People are loving out there. People are doing good with their the other half. And I am not. I see people walking in the streets, hands twined together... I looked at them with admirance. Hoping that I would have that chance to roam the streets together once again with out hands twined together. Who knew, it was just merely a dream. How naive and stupid I am.

Maybe after this, I will never trust anyone that easily anymore... I guess focusing on my future is what I ll do, after all, I m not going SG anymore.. Taylors will be the school for me..so.. I ll stay there..have my life there. Live once again differently, changed. Better. Without you in my life anymore.

I still love you, but i have to protect myself and stop doing that.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

having fun but miss home

Melbourne is great. The weather is chilly, not hot Yet. I enjoyed myself very much. I had bacons and egg in the morning cooked by U.Chu. After that we went to Victoria Garden, which is a shoopping centre, and bought some food for tomorrow's dinner. And off we went home. Had pasta for lunch, & the funniest and most interesting part after lunch was that U.chu taught us to drink wine, eat cheese. It was a nice experience. I think i ll be drinking a lot! =P

We went to the park near the apartment for a stroll.. It was filled with abundant of trees, flowers. etc...Its really lovely. It also has a small miniature waterfall. It is so cold and chilly everywhere. What a summer it is!!! Its suppose to be 30 degrees, but in fact it is 13 degrees!! How shocking!

We had vietnamese for dinner. Nice meal, and it is my first time having a vietnamese meal. Great experience.


I do miss home a lot, miss my family. It is agonizing being away from home. But i have to learn how to expose myself at such an age. Mummy, daddy and Ray.. I miss all of you badly. =(

Vic, I miss you a lot too... =(