I've been faking it all the while, without you knowing...
I really wanna tell you how much pain I am going through loving you...
But what if I tell you you would never wanna talk to me ever again...
I am sorry but I am an obsessive bitch... Jealousy can take over me very soon...
And this is who I am.. I hide it so no one would see it including you..
I bury it just to let it disappear....
But its getting worse somehow cuz it'll never disappear...
It has been growing inside of me,
but I am controlling it...
Just to let it disappear slowly...
The time we have to spend are just too little...
I am so afraid I might lose you,
I am so afraid you'll go somewhere else,
and leave me here waiting for you,
I am so afraid that you'll be gone in my life....
I am filled with fear,
all that can't be described using words...
I know I cant own all of you,
I know I cant take your heart for myself...
I know I cant hold onto you always....
Thats why thoughts of me letting go off you resonates in my mind,
But I am not strong enough to let you go...
I am not brave enough to let you go...
I am just too weak..
When you are beside me...
I am too weak to make this decision..
Too weak..
I've been crying inside all along..
I wanna try to trust you,
I really want you to show me where and how to trust you..
But till today you haven't gain my trust...
I am sorry...
I do really love you,
I do...
I love you so much...
Too much that every small mistake you made,
made me so mad and hurt...
And every word you said that just touched my heart,
wont make me stop falling for you...
I will just keep on falling into the dark pit...
I cant get out...
I am unable...
1 comment:
i tell ya nic, the situation about you and him, u really have to tell him. i mean if you want this relationship to continue, both of you need to work hard. . .i know you had work very hard, but sometimes it needs the both of you to do it together...
crying in the night seems to be a way you and me always do, writing seems to be a way we express but do you know wot nic. after a big cry after writing down everything...we still need to stand up and continue life that is the only way. we need to find solutions to problems, okey?
seriously i cant help you with this i cant only you and him can make things work. no kidding...
but all i can garenty you is, i will always be there for you, this is for sure.
all the best for you my deary sis, i wish you all the best.
peace up and God bless.
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