Few more hours. =D

Yipee.. I am leaving M'sia tomorrow to a very new place for a month. I am so so pyched!!

I ll miss Vic so so very much... Vic love, thanks for the scarf. =D I love you. Enjoy your trip in Jakarta. mwah.

ILY Vic

Christmas together.

I had a way different xmas this year...Its kinda sad that I didnt managed to celebrate with the Josephs and Aunt Mary.=( But, there's something much more different and better this year.hehe..

I went to Vic's grandma's house for Christmas luncheon. Something small, quiet. I was able to finally meet his family. Great stuff.=D I love his mum, she is like the best thing on earth ( apart from my family and lovely Vic) She is such a soft spoken lady... I just love her. It was nothing great, but to be able to meet Vic's family was something big for me.. So.. thanks to my good courtesy it went out well.. tee-hee..

Vic love, its our first xmas together... I hope to have more xmas together next time. =D

I look so ugly here.. Vic looks nice.. My hotsie. whatever..=(

Btw, thanks Shan and my lovely friends for throwing a surprise party for me. I was so touched that all of you did this for me. Had a lovely time with all of Y'all. Mwah mwah mwah!!

Vic love, thanks for doing so much for me on that day, thanks for the midnight swim..haha.. I love it. Thanks for sleeping with me on that uncomfy couch, thanks for sacrificing your sweater and socks for me that night, sorry that you have to be so chilly for the whole night. I love you vic. mwah!!

swee nightmare

Dreadful thoughts kept flooding my mind. Both of us are going to part sooner than I could imagine. I am struggling and despising that time isn't something that I can get hold of and control.

"You looked me in the eye, flooded with tears, yet, you let your ego take control of you. You maintained your poise, try to be strong. You gave me a hug, so warm and so addictive. A hug that I know clearly, I couldn't have for a long period of time. I wept. Eyes swelled, nose red. Face drenched in tears. Heart aching. "

The moment I opened my eyelids, I thank God that at least this isn't happening just yet. And yet in the sudden moment I was sadden by the fact it will happen, soon enough.

Leaving you isn't something that I ask for. I hated the fact that I would have to face the future, without you by my side anymore, you'll be some where far. I hated the fact when I needed someone, and you're not there anymore, when I need love and comfort you're not there anymore, when I opt for a warm hug and a romantic kiss, you're not there anymore.

I am terrified, traumatized by the fact, that we are going to part, very very soon.

ILY VIC.
"9 more days"

* Best of our lives*

The Final Verdict

Average. That is what I would rate my UEC results. In fact, I did cry, shedding tears of disappoinment. I worked my arse off this exam but I just got an average result. I'll congratulate those who did well.

The thought of applying for a Uni is really dreadful, the only thing that portray in my mind was endless research and endless paper work. I am sure that this feeling came from the lazy bones in me. Speechless bout that.

My sisters went to Singapore, I am sure they are having so much fun right now, enjoying themselves in Escape theme park. I am not too sure why I rejected my sister's offer to follow her. Sorry my darling ray for not going there with you, i am sure i ll make it up to you. sorry my darling.

new environment

I am so pyched that I am finally going to Melbourne on January... it is so so awesome... the feeling is like sorta undesribable... I am so happy that I am able to leave to a new environment.. I pray that it will be good.. I really need some fresh air, off to some place better than here... where places will remind me of very sucky memories... memories of my mistakes.. and i hope that after i come back here, after a month, it ll be great... i ll have some bastards off my mind.. which is good...

*but for that only you, I will definitely miss... its forever hard to get you off my mind and head, but i hope i will... it ll be good for us this way... for you and me, like you said..20 days on counting... ILY.."

*21days*

ILY VIC

*the countdown*

Give me sometime, and I promise that I'll let you go after my birthday. Next year. Next year will be a new start for me, a new year, without you in my life and heart. I'll go Melbourne, lay off for awhile. I am going to miss you a lot, because you're part of my heart and it is so hard for me to take you out. Whatever it is, no matter how painful it is, if this is what you want for me, I'll do it.

25 days
ILY

Thanks guys... Muaks.

thank you to all of you for accompanying me every single day, life would definitely suck without all of you. All of you have been keeping my mind off things and all.. i love you guys so much... Muaks.

*I am sorry*

*Pics*

*need you to fill my void*

this of course isnt my first time I am sewing. For someone like me to sew this is really something, detailed work doesnt = Nicole. However this is out of love that I did this for Vic. Love could really make someone do crazy things like this.

*I feel superbly comfortable around you, I needed no one else but you. Meeting you today was the best out of my weeks. Through out the whole movie, the closest I could get to you was my head on your shoulder, thats all. And, I am satisfied. You are part of the reason why I didnt want to leave for Aus, because I couldnt bare to lose contact with you. I thought it'll be easier for me to leave Aus when you are just about to leave for Jakarta, it'll be a good time for us to just stay away from each other for weeks. Hope it'll be good.*

Vic, come here right now and fill this void that you use to occupy. It is only meant for you and no one else.
ILY VIC

Bum?

The moment I opened my eyes, I set my eyes on that white fair ceiling, the same old ceiling I've been seeing for the past five years. The next thing that came out of my mind was: what the hell am I going to do today?? This question has been a frequent visitor to my mind. I feel awful knowing that I am not working, not earning a single cent but just frequently spending my folks' money, I feel useless... My friends are doing productive work out there, and me?

I need new things in my life, I wanna keep my mind off things.. I wanna meet new people, I wanna be in a new environment, somewhere far from this area. I am still contemplating whether should I ask my godparents if its okay that I should be there in Melbourne and work there. Stay there for a month. But, I guess I dont have the guts to do so, I still linger on the things here.. its like damn effing irony.

I feel like some sorta bum, just staring in front of boxes and not leveraging on anything..
F! I am pissed..