Was going thru the blog posts I posted since last year. Looking back I realize how much I grown to know so many stuff in life. I fall in and out of love... I was broken, and back to a whole again..
" I am sorry. I did what you said, I read all the posts I posted for you, I was truly in love with you then. But, you didnt made me regret loving. At least you were someone much worth loving, you're no jerk. You're a nice guy, you're someone with good qualities. There are so many other gals out there, worth loving. And, I am not one of them, I am just someone who broke you really hard. I am someone who fell out of our love. I am someone who left our memories behind. I am not turning back anymore. I made the choice not to. Because, people move on. You got to be strong. Thank you for the things you did for me, thank you for praying for me all the time, thank you for being such a caring friend. And.... all we have between us now is just pure friendship. Nothing else. I have to admit that I am still a little use to you. I feel awkward without you. But, now I am starting to learn to get use to it. I am learning, and I am progressing in it. I hope you do the same..."
Angel, the things you said yesterday, shocked me. I sat there, not knowing what to do. My heart hurts so much, I cried so so hard. I havent done that for a long time. You said you cant do this now? You need time? I feel I know nothing about your thoughts, I dont even know what are you thinking. I guess you're not over her yet? I am not sure, cuz each time people tell you things bout her, you never fail to get cranky. why? You said you could never stay out of my life? Is it really true? I dont know why I feel so weak when I am with you. I cant even be harsh to you. Cuz the thought of you hurting, hurts me so much. Everything that happened on Friday, meant everything to me. Everything. I took it to heart. but angel, I have to tell you I cant do this anymore too... Because I have to stop hurting myself. Both of us need time. Both of us need time to get know each other more. If you really want this to be special, we have to know each other more. Lets not rush things anymore. Lets take it one step at a time. I have to tell you that I really enjoy talking crap with you, I enjoyed watching Janice Dickenson Modelling Angency with you. I enjoyed lying on your chest, enjoyed being in your arms, enjoyed kissing you, enjoyed talking things about each others' past, childhood...etc... I am happy that I am the one who knows buzz lightyer when you talk bout it. I am glad that you know bout fashion and I can talk to you bout anything.
PS: I read the nylon for guy.. there are a couple styles in there which I think you would look good in. I think you have that mag. Cuz I realize the music you told me to check out like delphic, we have band..etc..are all in there. lol.
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