I kinda saw it coming.

I kinda saw it coming... everything.. your actions shows clearly, I am not blind, I am not stupid. But, I've grown up. I wont hate you because I am over such things. Things just happened in one way or another. Maybe we arent made for each other. we thought we were. We rush. But its a good thing we found it out earlier. Maybe the pain wont hurt that bad. I am fine without you. I am. You're a good friend but I would assume you're not a good boyfriend? Its just my assumptions. But, I would want to say thank you. Because I've learnt from my mistakes. I aint making them the second time.

Brother bank... I love you guys. I need all of you realy bad. But thanks for everything. You guys are the best.... we have to hang out on prom!! Have as much fun as possible. I am happy for Kong Hao.. Cuz he finally have his gal.. Couldnt be any happier. The amount of hardship you went through for her. Enjoy being in love cuz it really feels good to love and be loved by someone. =)

... Vic... probably I hurt you real bad... I am sorry I did. But I am making up my mistakes. i am sorry. I am regretting everything. I know you wont believe the things I said now because I betrayed your trust. But you are the one who never fails to watch my step, and take care of me. My eyes opened up, I could finally see clearly... I'll give some time... I am sure we can work things out... I am sure of that.

.....I am trying...

I am tryin as hard as I can... just to ignore you, just to leave my phone alone so I wont have the thought of textin you.... thanks to my darlings for spending the whole day with me so I wont think too much... I wont have thoughts of you...

I dont know what we are now... since the day you kissed me I was confused... confused at what we were.... we did what couples did, but we arent one... I never could understand all of this...

Shan told me to ignore and stay strong.. but i cant... I am trying... I kept telling myself I can... but i am barely breathing...

I feel hopeless... I dont know what to do anymore...I tried trusting you.. i did... now i feel... betrayed.. i cared so much for you. I am so honest to you. but all i get from you is this???.... I am speechless

None of us are perfect

The things you told me yesterday wasnt what i expected.... maybe its true that people out there is suffering hell a lot than me, maybe my life is much better than someone else's... that i would not deny... the whole point of me telling you bout me is cuz I thought you should know... I thought telling you bout me would help us.... I guess I expected so much.... Maybe I should stop thinking that things are gonna work out darn smooth for me. For us if you think there is one... I never thought I gave out my heart so easily to you.... you might say no one asked me to.... but I just did....

all i need is you to be there with me, be my best friend, be someone who AT LEAST care for me, love me...... am i asking to much??? .....

you came in took my heart away, i feel comfortable around you, i am in my own skin when i am with you... the thought of losing you kills.... what am i to do?? i am so scared when you just tell me you can do this anymore....etc..... i feel like i am just a replacement aint it??

You hide I seek... seek for the things I thought I should know... whats the point???

i am tired....

i want you and no one else

My life has changed since you set your foot in it. I never thought that I would get so close to you, all i did before was to admire you from a distance, love that pair of deep set of beautiful eyes, listen to your crap all the time and recall it once in a while and laugh like an idiot. I never did understand what you were to me. You were someone else's.

But now, everything is different. You're more than the person who I used to admire and look at, you're so much more than that. You're someone I am so addicted to, you're someone who made my head spin round when we kiss, you're someone who I couldn't bare to leave, you're someone who occupies my brain for most of the time.

You made me shed so much tear for, because I care too much. You made me hate myself for crying so much, you made me get angry with myself because I cannot understand you, because I could never know what you are thinking.

Maybe its true that I couldn't live without you, maybe its true that I really fallen for you.

...Should I be happy or Should I not?...

UEC officially starts tomorrow... and I dont know whether should I be happy or not? Been mugging my ass off and its so darn boring....

I want all of this to be over soon... Then I can have so so much fun....

I hate the feeling of missing someone, because it makes people so damn restless.... So wish to get outta it soon.... Havent heard from him for 2 days... and its officially killing me... Man... I miss him....

... Someone stop this song....

There she goes again... Letting her mind drift off to a place she wish she could be... Living in her dreams... With so high hopes... Cuz she knows that her dreams would never disappoint her....

She is still waiting, waiting for a simple text message from him, so she would be At Least much happier than she used to be...

He was always what she wanted, the way he thinks, the things that they like, are just too much alike. She has been waiting for this guy since she first set her eyes on him. She knew she was in no position to get near to him because she was no one to him, because he was taken. She decided to move on having a little affection for him in her heart. All she could tell herself that she could look at him and admire him from a distance. She cared too much for this friend of hers, and will try to get information of him from her friends. People with eyes could feel that she have feelings for this guy. But, at that time she was taken too. All she did was create suspicion and there was no confirmation.

But, now it was a different story. He is not taken anymore, so is she. They landed together in the same boat... She thought she could finally have him all by herself... He liked her, so does she. They had a thing going on. And it means everything to her. But it seems like her feelings for him is much more stronger than how he feels bout her. He tells her that he needs time... She thinks that he is not ready to commit. She is scared. Living in fear. Because he could leave her anytime he wants, because both of them werent together.

She miss his face, she missed the taste of his lips, she missed the way he put her in his arms. But all of that just lasted for a day. After that day, everything seems back to where it is. She asked when will she him again? She said she'll miss him, and told him that he wouldnt even mind not seeing her for a week. He said he would mind. Its been more a week... and she hasnt seen him... she thought that he really cared, she thought that he would really miss her.... But, it seems like she has been giving herself too much expectations.

She tried a couple of times to find time to meet him...but all he did was turn her down... each time he does, her heart ached to the fullest... and soon...it became a habit... she got used to the pain... and sometimes would love the pain she had... and it was also a reminder to her, so that she still keep track of her breathing. She thought he would like her, treat her the way she deserve to be treated... But again. she got too much expectations...

She wished he cared more bout her, she wished he would really mean what he said, and would do his best to prevent her from getting hurt, and prevent her from shedding a single tear for him. But, no...he did none of those.

But, she never did gave up waiting.. waiting for the day when he would treat her the way she wanted to be treated... but till then, all she could do is do a playback what had happened on that day... the way he talks, he kissed her, he hugged her...

... Hawaian nite?....

First I thought this party is gonna be a blast... But, we were late for the party.. We were told to be there at 630 pm.. but wound up.. we were waiting for each other...and we reached there around 9pm? Super late... So i thought it was a party...but the whole ambience seems so quiet...
Only five of us wore hawaian style... it seems so weird... but whatever... the party was okay...not all that fun... But yeah...it was when i get to know stuff... real stuff..

But whatever.. I trust him.. not believing all the crap people say...but... I hope its worth it.. why arent you replying my msg....what the hell is going on??? I am going insane now...I really am... Please Lord.... I need him badly.... I miss him so so damn much....